Tuesday, October 6, 2009

William, my little William

Last night, William fell asleep in my arms.

It had not been an easy night. There was much crying and consternation from all four children. William had been particularly inconsolable as he wailed through the entire time it took to get all four children in their PJ’s and ready for the babies’ 7:00 feeding. Nerves were raw, words were harsh, and the enormity of the situation weighed on Mom and Dad’s every thought. It was one of those nights where we literally had to push ourselves through every action with dogged deliberateness because if we did not force ourselves to move and act we would be paralyzed by the sheer size of the tasks in front of us.

And then, with Paige and Matthew asleep in their cribs and Dad reading Joshua bed time stories, William fell asleep in my arms. He stopped crying. He stopped flailing. And he just was. I could feel his breath, somewhat labored from his cold. I could watch his dream smiles. I could feel his toes twitch periodically against my stomach. His arms were wrapped around me as if in a hug. He was beautiful and perfect and mine.

Every parent loves their children but there are moments when the intensity of that love hits you with such force it literally takes your breath away. Last night, looking into his face was the first time I had felt that way in longer than I care to remember. And, suddenly, everything seemed just a little bit more manageable. The laundry mountain seemed not quite so high. The bottles seemed not quite so numerous. The 5 hours of sleep we’ve been averaging seemed like more than enough. The road ahead was navigable again.

So I did my best to make a memory of that moment and I tucked it away as one of the reasons we’re doing all of this.

Thank you, William. Mommy owes you one.


Sandy McKenzie said...

Shannon- that is such a lovely comment! God bless you all! Love, Sandy

Jon and Jennifer said...

Oh how sweet it is those moments for sure that put it all into perspective and makes you thankful for the moments you have with your baby. How sweet loved reading this post!

monty said...

What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing.

monty said...

Ok...Heather here...I am under Monty's ID and can't get out!

Marcy said...

Awwww, that is too precious. i love little baby breath and toe twitches. thanks for sharing that moment!

Wendy said...

You have a gift to put in words, exquisitly, what I suspect every mom feels at some time - even with having only one at a time. You two are particularly blessed with the ability to parent these - your own. I know it. May God hold you and reassure you and give you all sweet rest.

The Gausmans said...

Thanks, everyone! Sorry, I'm slow to respond on the comments...where does the time go?

Wendy - Congratulations to you!! The little one is beautiful.