One-Third of a Day in the Life

Mom and Dad have 3 jobs.

Job #1 starts around 5:30 a.m. and involves getting everyone up, ready and out the door by (hopefully) 7:30.

Job #2 is the actual job that pays us and allows for the purchase of food, formula, diapers, you know, those little things.

Job #3 begins at day care pick up and lasts until the blessed hour of (hopefully) 8:00 when all Gausmans 3 and under are in bed…if not yet asleep.

Yes, that is an approximate 14.5 hour day. And we haven’t even counted the 11:00 p.m. feeding. On a good day when all the stars are aligned and smiling, this is what it looks like. You don’t even want to know what a bad day looks like!

5:30 A.M.
Dad is up and in the shower.
Mom catches a few more z’s.
Babies are starting to twitch, but no one is truly awake yet.
Joshua is usually still asleep, but he has been known to sneak into Mom & Dad’s room at this early hour (how did we get such an early riser?!?!?).

5:40 A.M.
Dad has probably fallen asleep in the shower.

5:45 A.M.
Dad is out of the shower.
Bottles are warming (Thanks Dad!).
Mom is either still catching z’s or tending to any awake baby or Joshua.
Mom is trying to deny the fact that she needs to get up and dress babies.

6:00 A.M.
Babies are (hopefully) mostly dressed.
Dad is (hopefully) mostly dressed.
Mom is (hopefully) sitting down to feed one baby.
Joshua is snuggling in to watch a Special Agent Oso while the babies get fed.

By 6:15 A.M.
Babies are all (hopefully) being fed.
2 are being “boppied” (yes it is a verb) and one is with Mom and Joshua having its young brain warped by the powers that are Disney.

6:30 A.M.
Special Agent Oso finishes his special assignment
Mom motivates Joshua to get dressed on his own by playing the “big boy” card. Thank God he can dress himself. Mom overlooks the bright red sweat pants with the orange t-shirt and the blue socks. And what size are those pants, Joshua? How can they be that short already?
Mom makes mental note to scouer the van for loose change for new pants for the 3 year old.

6:45 A.M.
Dad takes Joshua & a baby downstairs for breakfast.
Oops, you need to take two babies now…can’t leave Matthew on the bed since he can roll & William has lost all interest in the ceiling fan.
Don’t forget to feed Haley, and put the bottles together, and pack Joshua’s bag, and get anything you might need for the day, and put the car seats out, and start the dishwasher so there are clean bottles tonight…Prozac not included.
Meanwhile, Mom draws on all of those articles she read in days of old and really does reduce her “beauty routine” to 20 minutes.

7:05 A.M.
A time warp takes place and somehow we’ve accomplished nothing…

7:30 A.M.
We’re supposed to be leaving, but just now putting the babies in their seats. It will take another 10 minutes to actually get everyone in the car. William throws up everywhere…and oh yes, he needs a new diaper along with the new outfit.

7:40 A.M.
3 babies? Check!
1 Joshua? Check!
1 spastic yellow lab? Check!
Bottles? Check!
Joshua’s backpack? Check!
Badges? Check!
Mom & Dad? Check!
Pull out of the driveway….Don’t hit the trashcans on the way out.
Did I brush my teeth?

And that, my friends, is the end of Job #1. Job #2 is a breeze comparatively. And Job #3, well, I’m not sure you’re ready for that. Perhaps that will be next week’s post. :-)